Tag: Family life

Writers And Entrepreneurs Need Rest Too

On By Robert EvenhouseIn my writing life6 Comments

When I was in elementary school, I broke my foot. I flipped off my bunk bed, landed on the ground and all of a sudden my foot would not work without a piercing pain. I hobbled to the kitchen where my parents played cards with my aunt and uncle and informed them of what occurred and soon learned how to use crutches.

I remember when I tried to place pressure on my foot prematurely that it hurt and I was angry, but not because of the pain. I was upset because my foot did not function like it did before. This was my first experience with the injustice that not only can we break our bikes and every door in the house if we kick them, (sorry mom and dad) but also ourselves.

Painter sleepingI mentioned before that the most recent season at work was brutal. I thought I broke myself mentally. I could not remember simple tasks. I had little to no energy to play with my kids when I got home. And writing? The thought of spending another moment with a computer made me ill. It was rough all around.

A week ago, after things slowed down at work, I became angry that I could not just dive into another blog. I needed to get going because I had books and a website to launch. The more I thought about it the more I stewed. The angrier I was at my inability to write, the more I became frustrated that I was doing nothing. It was a vicious cycle. The pressure to produce weighed on me and I could not shake my lethargy, or so I thought.

It’s taken sometime to learn a lesson that I should have learned when I was young – I am not a machine. I can break – emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The stories of Sherlock Holmes living off no sleep and cocoa leaves are just not possible. Sure you can go on little sleep for a while (I have four kids) but sooner or later you crash.

There are different seasons of life. Some of planting, harvest, and rest. I needed to let my mind settle and heal by simple reading and planning.

Grace is what I needed most in the aftermath of a stressful experience.

Grace to be.

Grace to breathe and not feel the stress that comes from the need to produce.

But as with all seasons there is also a time to move on to the next one.

Now, my workload at work is back to a normal pace and I have more bandwidth for other projects at home.

This past Friday night, I did not feel like mush. So we ordered pizza. Then my kids got into their pajamas and we turned up the music and resumed our long-missed after dinner dance party. Then, by the encouragement of my lovely wife, I went to the bookstore to write. 

And you know what? Just like when my foot healed and I did not need my crutches any more it felt amazing to write again.

Daddy No Sleep

On By Robert EvenhouseIn The Writing Life, Writing Tips5 Comments

Nearly every morning my kids wake up early. When one does, they all do. It’s sort of like a really fun game. Only now when I think about it, it’s not really that fun. There have been times were I’ve stayed up late writing the night before and then get woken up by screams of “MAMA DADDY MAMA DADDY!” Followed by our oldest saying “Mama, I think Clara wants daddy.” I flop out of bed and rescue our middle child from the confines of her crib and head into the dark living room.

I wanted to write this post not because I am a terrible father and want to complain about sleep deprivation, but because I realize I sometimes set myself up to fail with my writing goals. I blame this on Robert Downey Junior, Guy Ritchie, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, and even a little bit on Margaret Thatcher.

Let me explain.

Margaret Thatcher
She does look a wee bit tired.

Before we had kids, there was a time when I woke up at 5:30 to write every Saturday morning. Think about that. I had a good three to four hours all to myself where my thoughts were clear and my mind raced with one brilliant plot line after another (or so I thought). So, when I watched the first Sherlock Holmes film by Guy Ritchie starring Robert Downey Jr., I was immediately enamored by his ability to cast sleep aside and finish a task with a flourish. I thought this must be the best way to produce a novel – write with a feverish, reckless abandon.

The problem with this is obvious. That is Hollywood. That is not real. No one can repel sleep for days while sorting out a problem. They’d go insane. Right? Well, then theirs Margaret Thatcher. Ever read her biography or watched the film Iron Lady? She was a real person (obviously) who supposedly slept four to five hours a night and still ran a country. I’m having trouble with this blog post. Perhaps we are on different plains of brilliance and I need to be OK with that. Or, maybe I am dead wrong with the method that works best at this point in my life.

I find I write best when I am awake. Strange. When I am well rested and have accomplished things during the day I can go downstairs to my desk and write something. My creative well is full from a life lived and a decent amount of sleep. I realize now that instead of staying up late for a few days in a row and then crashing, its best if I sleep for several days in a row then stay up late once. Burning out is not an option. I have a wife to love, children to raise, and a day job.

This might sound simple to you, like a math problem, but I hate math. Reading and comprehension I can do. And to do them successfully, I must be well rested.

How about you? What have you done with your schedule to improve yourself as a writer? Have you ever tested how you work best? Do you stay up all night or do you conserve your energy for a controlled writing burst?

Write 500 words today.

Cheers,

Bob